Someone Who Gets Me

I am finding that as you get older, there is a definite joy in finding yourself coming full circle on things. Writing, for example. The fact that I actively (ok, not so much the past few weeks, but you know...) write on a blog, write at my job, and am trying to figure out how much writing will comprise my career (though clearly a significant part) means that my early early days of writing stories and poems as a single-digit person were not for nothing. And this is just one of a myriad of ways in which my life is maturing, which in my dictionary means my life is bringing to fruition things that were just little seeds when I was younger. Which supports my theory that everything is happening with a purpose and meaning, even if we don't know what that is, exactly.

Some more examples...

Having a husband who loves to spend time with me on designing and re-designing our living space completes my young obsession with drawing up my own architectural plans and getting a subscription to House Beautiful at 12. Which I may or may not have just signed up for again.

Also, I spent a lot of time on my bike and climbing trees when I was a kid. And then I spent a lot of time in schoolrooms and buildings being a student as a teenager. But I'm glad to see that my love for the outdoors has found many a home in my adult life - hiking, backpacking, canoeing, running, mountain biking, and just exploring in general.

Unfortunately for my mother, my claims as a young teenager that I "would definitely not be having kids" appear to be, at least potentially, true. Although the advice in this (great) article suggests perhaps it is just some brokenness that is keeping me from moving forward. But let's be frank - I have observed from both sides of the marriage coin that, generally, married people get pregnant by their 2nd wedding anniversary. And, um, here's to year 3?? And let's just say that joke we have about naming our child Wilfred Ernst - was 100% created in order to distract during the continual line of questioning about when exactly we'll be procreating. And is NOT related in any way to any buns in any ovens in this household. 'Cause the oven is decidedly not cookin right now. Decidedly being decided by us. :) On the other hand, I'm super thrilled to have more than a dozen nieces and nephews to relate to on a regular basis. (See years of babysitting...)

And for those who didn't know me in college, the fact that I am suddenly a(n unofficial) Quaker may seem random. But it is not. It is the result of years of learning to live in Quaker-styled community, enjoying meditation, and being raised in progressive Christianity. And, you know, really really liking silence. And being tired of reconciling the minister's agenda with my own spiritual callings.

All in all, I continue to fill out my life with things that are familiar and yet new. Let's be clear. This post may be related to me turning 30 this year. I've been thinking about 30 a lot. I have always been "young", given that I skipped kindergarten (and would have been young in my class anyway). Most of my friends are over 30. So I've always felt young, very young at times. And by the grace of God, my life thus far seems like it has been "enough" to turn 30. So there's no grief about the "What ifs." But I will definitely be entering a new phase. A new category. And leaving behind some things. Which is of course the question - what do I want to leave behind and what do I want to take with me? And of the things I take with me, how can I bring them across into full adulthood in a meaningful, appropriate way? Or will I just need to let go and hope to find things I left behind again on the other side?

So I'm realizing that I will probably continue to find connections between the things I choose now and the things I did in my early years. And that will continue to surprise and delight me. And that it may be increasingly important to have people in my life that get where some of these things come from. That see the continuity in my personality and in my life. But it will also be my own job to honor it for myself. Maybe that's the most important - that I pay attention to the story of my life well enough to tell it to others... and back to myself when I forget.