it doesn't make a good story
sure there are some parts that come out nice
brightly colored and visual interest
but generally no i don't have something fascinating to say
just that being human is this thing
that overwhelms my senses and my soul
that loving is so hard when it's for real
that i know that suffering is what you have to do
to get to something beautiful
that when something seems close its an illusion
but that's nothing you don't already know
basically i'm just trying not to repeat my mistakes
or the mistakes of those who've gone before
i'd really like to get through with a few true friends
and without hurting anyone i really love
it's hard when what you need isn't available
and asking doesn't bring it any closer
and pouting just reflects the darkness back to you
but i feel alone in those moments
when i feel stuck in the wrong direction

even this poem can't be beautiful
it's just what i have to say right now
and whether or not it's enough
my choice is to love it or not.