Humans
really need to stop

being so

obsessed with

ourselves

and realize

a well-adjusted species

interacts and cares

and responds

to other ones.

03/2026

Words

Some words ring true
some wait for their moment

stepping shyly into the air

some words trip us up

and make us burn inside

some pull out a cackle

and squinting knee slap

some words heal

showing up when we're broken and raw

some words hold us together

bring us together

or tear us apart

some words come straight

from the universe

direct through the heart.

may my words be a gift to any who hear

may our speaking be from love and free of fear.

03/2026

Light Matters

This moment finds us
Slowly shrinking into our selves
Our homes
Our well-trod worries
And yet a hand reaches out from within us
Find me
See me
Reach me
Share your self with me
Our need to mirror
More potent than breath

And in the silence
The stillness of waiting
We must witness
The beauty of the beings sending out
Their heart signals -
Call back yes
oh yes, when we feel it;
And we must witness
The pain of those facing
dehumanization
Call out evil
Anytime we see it
Come out from behind the windows
And use our voices
Because naming
Is a power all its own
And evil is a darkness
Overcome by even one light

Alone too long, we fester
Without the image of ourselves reflected back
Without the warmth of a forgiving smile
A reminder that though our bodies
Appear finite
And discrete
There are spaces within us
And connections when we touch
That we have yet to truly understand.


2020

2025 in Brief

Just a couple things to note from last year, before we accept that time speeds up as we age and I am no spring chicken... so now the blog I started in April 2025 is being posted in April 2026! 

Apparently I'm an enneagram 7!

We volunteered to help clean up the trail entrance at the bottom of our road last spring, so now every time we drive by we can revel in our hard work. And every time I see someone parked there, I feel excited and proud.

Attending a surprise wig party for my sister's 60th was fire!

We had a nest of baby juncos hatch beside our house last year. Now when I see a junco I wonder if it's one of "our" adolescents.

Individuals aren't resilient, if resilience means to bounce back. We get scars from our wounds, trauma from our experiences, which doesn't go away unless we totally lose our memory. We're never the same. Systems maybe too. Maybe resilience doesn't mean being able to be the same ever again, but to be something with life and remnants of the previous being.

Difficulty and pain does change us in ways that can be expansive, connective, or healing. Communities that have experienced natural disasters tend to band together and form connections that serve in the long term. Many of my deepest darkest experiences have also been fodder for connection. Sharing painful experiences with someone else can mean that they are less afraid to dig in and compare notes. Because why not? Why not explore that territory to reclaim it as something I can grow from? 

This took on new meaning while watching my person lose and live without function in their right arm for 6 months (now slowly working back to 100%, but maybe not going to ever get there).

We got our cat a cat, Murphy. Who turned out to be a critical comfort during Chris's recovery. And the cats are still figuring each other out, but it's definitely made Ithaca's life more interesting.

My first visit to the zendo was magical. A small parking lot, a gravel path into the woods, an arch, moss-lined winding walk, a solid peaceful wooden building next to a pond, stone floor, dripping rain. And it remains so each time I return.

They're not kidding about altitude. Trying to hike at 12,000 feet in Durango made me think I was dying.

Helping your friend's kid with their college essay is a (wonderful, heart-warming) trip. 

The older I get, the more I just want to go back to the places I've been before. 

Staying home for Thanksgiving in new pjs is kind of great. Especially when you've had a busy year.

I got C a fancy set of knives for Christmas, and he loved it even more than I hoped he would. Phew! It's good when you really know your person! 

The Herbal Astrology Oracle is magic. I will take no further questions, but I will order you a deck if you want!

Healing

 My best laid plans to write in this blog, and to share my previously written poetry, were foiled, as plans often are - by the vagaries of life. But here I am, back at the page, ready to share with you a few insights that have offered themselves.

I started this year with intention around showing up, and making spaces for healing and stillness. In fact, I decided my New Year's Mantra/Resolution was "Adventures in Showing Up." And that has already been the way of it! And showing up, stillness, and focus on healing have continued to serve me. 

Already, I've shown up to places I knew I wanted to go, and have been rewarded. I've noticed that showing up also includes showing up for myself. 

I finally made it to Community Dance, aka ecstatic dance, aka lovingly named Dance Anarchy. It was healing and freeing and peaceful. 

A few weeks ago, I logged on to a local (online for the winter) Buddhist Meditation group, which has been great fuel for my meditation fire. Meditation helps me stay aligned with the energy and right concentration and stillness I so desire, and this group offers space for that, as well as interesting readings and insights. 

C and I set aside a weekend to get away, just for some rest and reconnection. We got a cabin with a wood stove, which turned out to not have a TV. That set a really lovely tone of calm and peacefulness that I didn't know how much I needed! We made homemade gf pasta, read books, and got a chance to just be together with few distractions. 

Lent, which started a week and a half ago, has brought new adventures and intentions. I feel as though I was quickly plunged into the wilderness, but am turning towards the Great Spirit and using my emotional wilderness survival skills, like: 

- Do not make big decisions when you are overwhelmed, tired, or hungry. 

- Make sure you're getting enough nourishment (literal and figurative).

- Focus on the moment in front of you and don't get too bogged down in what's coming up ahead. You will have the energy you need when the moment comes, if you take care of the now. 

My Lent intentions are to meditate daily if possible, to take a day off of TV once a week, to be mindful of my food cravings as a chance to feast on spiritual matters, and to give to others. Of course, the intention and the reality play out somewhat differently than imagined, but I've been checking in with a weekly tracker just to see how each item is showing up. Sometimes just noticing what is happening, how it feels, and what is difficult is helpful. 

This morning, feeling still a bit frenzied from the past week of "wilderness," I debated whether to go to Dance Anarchy, the Lutheran church, or the meditation group. My system said, please don't make me leave the house and work hard physically! What I wanted most was to tap into the inner quiet, to be seen, to be mindful. So, meditation it was. 

The meditation group gave me a chance to get quiet and let things come up from the week. Good things - like the deep gratitude I have for sharing my space and my days with a person who is kind, thoughtful, honest, and real. And hard things - like the sense of disappointment I have from my Wednesday night meeting, where the committee that is intended to be a balance of community members and municipal staff - to avoid power imbalances - was operating under somewhat tyrannical energy of the (white male) town manager, who shut down a few ideas presented by residents. And over the past few months, they have lost 2 of their community representatives, who happened to be women of color, so now the committee is all older white men with one exception (the female DPW director). 

In the hustle and bustle of the week, that experience had come and gone, battened down at the end of the night by my fatigue and wish to take a break from work. But its residue was still in me, and needed exposing. And hopefully clearing. What could I have done? Did I do enough? What was that like to try to hold that space? And recognizing that it was unfortunate, and it is over. 

I also had some new reflections emerging about healing, inspired partly by yesterday's activities. 

Yesterday, I woke up and looked to see what local events might be of interest for the weekend, with little hope for anything much. We have learned about the annual mid-February/early March shut down that many local businesses take to get a break while things are slower. (Wise! Fully support!) But hark! What light through yonder window breaks! It is a community, with interesting things like fiber arts, tree pruning, and seed swaps! Ooh, tree pruning... The City was hosting a tree pruning workshop, led by the Arbor Commission and Tree Warden, in the central park. This sounded perfect: we have many trees on our lot, and I know nothing about how to care for them, but I like trees, and also, it would get me out of the house and into a space where I could listen and be among real live humans. Also, the park is a block away from the gluten free donut shop, so I could stop there first to stock up!

Arriving a few minutes late, donuts safely tucked away in the car for afterwards, I found a gaggle of folks from 30s to 70s getting the orientation. (Including two folks from our trusty Fogtown Brewing! Community = familiar faces) We were given an information sheet, our choice of clippers, and spent about 20 minutes at each tree learning about the art of pruning. 

Turns out: I knew basically nothing about pruning! But now I know some things. Like this: where you choose to cut off a broken or damaged branch makes all the difference in the tree's ability to heal itself. If this is new to you, look up "branch collar." And: what a well-healed cut looks like! And: how to handle the branch you're cutting to ensure it won't further injure the tree. Also, it's important to be cautious with how much pruning you do at once - no more than 1/3 of the branches at a time, or the tree won't be able to sustain itself. And don't cut out any branches that are more than 1/2 the size of the main trunk. 

In thinking this morning, I was struck by the fact that this is maybe the first example I've seen of what it looks like to have reciprocal relationships with trees. I know they give us so much, and we give them a little CO2 (ok actually a LOT of CO2), and I totally appreciate that there is the potential for deeper relationship... but this was the first time that I could see how being a human, with eyes, knowledge, and arms that can wield saws and pruning shears could be beneficial to a tree. Could do something for it that it cannot do for itself. 

In thinking about how we might live more in an attitude of interdependence and supporting each other's healing, this example feels instructive. Communal or relational healing: when I can see something you cannot, and make an action that initiates your healing process. This is what I want to be doing with all beings - both inviting their input and support into my healing, and offering insight and action to promote theirs. 

So speaking of healing, my mom is currently healing from a catastrophic shoulder injury. She broke and dislocated her shoulder two weeks ago, which was a very scary thing for a solid 12 hours. They had to transport her 2 hours from home to get to a doctor who could reduce (aka re-locate) the shoulder, and she was under heavy pain medication the whole time. It's hard to have your family in distress across the country!! The good news is that they got the shoulder back in place, and it has stayed in place. And perhaps more importantly, she got into an assisted living facility temporarily with PT support to be able to heal safely and with good care. And good food and company, it turns out! :) Her healing is being supported literally by a sling, by keeping the broken and torn pieces quiet so they can heal... but also by people doing the things for her that she would have trouble doing right now for herself - making meals, assisting with dressing and moving around, getting her body what it needs to be able to focus on healing... AND there are other boosts to her spirit like playing piano, meeting new friends, and fun pajamas, which also promote healing. 

We need each other, always. We impact each other, always. 

So this is the lesson I'm taking today, from showing up: To promote healing, we can't just whack wildly at the thing that is broken. We need to be surgical, mindful of how much movement it can stand. We can only do so much healing at a time. To heal effectively, we must redirect energy towards healing by reducing the energy being asked in other areas. And very little healing can be done totally alone. 

It is helpful to me to reorient to these truths, especially in a time when some in positions of great power are acting with seemingly no attention to healing, or real care, or interdependence. But I can attend to those truths in the places I show up. I hope you will, too. 

Strength

Wasn't it nice, while we were just waiting for the wave to hit the shore? Sure, it was unpleasant to think about how big it would be, but it was also peaceful, in a way. 

So here we are. The turbulence of this past week mimics the turbulence of the post-election moment I know we all felt. That unease was of course fueled by the realization that what we are now experiencing (the pit in our stomach of loss, horror, and disbelief) would come as he took office and took control. And now, here we are, seeing it unfold. Riding the waves. 

And the words I wrote the day after the election are still true, and maybe helpful to revisit:

Unfortunately, a lot of things make sense now that have been floating up for me. Building up my regular yoga practice. Ideas for change that can be made at the local level. Gathering women. Owning a house in Maine. Training my system for peace. I won’t let Trump and a Trump win steal my peace. It’s been too hard earned for me to let it go. I know what makes me strong, and I will do it. 

I learned before that there are ways to react out of fear and anger, and I don’t want to do that. I want to act out of joy, and love, and vision, and purpose. To move from a place of balance, using the tools that I want to see in the world I’m trying to create. Be the change. Use new thinking to solve the old problems. Hate got us here. 

Have our feelings - we should feel and express and know the feelings, but not every feeling is worth acting on. Find spaces to grieve and rage. Then make spaces for building, for sorting, for connecting, for positive energy.

I won’t make assumptions about what Trump will do now. I won’t make assumptions about the people who voted for him. I will maintain curiosity, and concern, and attention… while also taking breaks, because it is not the only thing in the world. Because I have to fill my own cup and keep my line straight. 

I know you’re afraid. Maybe tired. It was just starting to seem like maybe we were getting to a good place. It feels overwhelming. Like we're back in 2016. But we're not. Much has happened. The work we've done since then was real and has not been lost.

By now, after COVID and the last 8 years, hopefully you also know what makes you strong. What makes you able to be the person you want to be. If you don’t, start there. What do you need to do to maintain your own peace, to emotionally regulate, to keep focused on what is good and pure and true? DO that. Commit to it. Take care of yourself first. 

Stay cool in your veins, keep warmth in your heart. 

So where we don't have to make assumptions anymore about what Trump will do, because we've seen... a lot already... we can maintain attention to see what the rest of our country does. Because that remains unknown, to be seen. And certainly where the real action is, if you take the longer view. 

Also, it appears that the writers of Saturday Night Live must read my blog. Or Letters to a Nation? Or someone on their staff knows their history! 

Last Saturday's Opening Sketch: https://youtu.be/oDtSQVj0qzg?si=tKVZC8vdV7mMHteE 

Since most of you had no idea (like me) that the Declaration of Independence was a suicide pact, it totally threw me that they had a similar approach. Great minds think alike?

Inauguration

"Inauguration (def.): the beginning of a system, policy, or period."

This time feels different. I am not tempted to leave my job, and rush to my dearest national advocacy organization, meaningful though that choice was... I am not as shocked and stunned, sadly, as the first time around. And I am not feeling pulled to march in the streets, at least not at the moment. And apparently, I'm not alone - the numbers of people protesting and planning to protest through mass marches is down. 

The lack of protest does not mean we do not protest. It means we are reserving our energy because standing in the street with others does not feel like the best use of effort. At least it does for me.

I was looking for a touchstone this morning, to stay focused on what matters and seek guiding wisdom as much as the latest drama and political updates. I'm not on social media* at the moment, so I'm not getting my usual sources philosophical and social commentary. So I turned to my bookshelf. For my 17th birthday, my dad gave me the book, Letters of a Nation, edited by Andrew Carroll. His inscription was helpful (as they usually were). 

Keep writing. Keep reading. Get inspired and enlightened. 

That is a welcome suggestion. I newly see myself as a middle-aged person, and I'm interested in the positionality of that. In relation to younger people, I guess. Instead of just defining myself, which felt like the work of the 20s and 30s, now I'm armed with a breadth and depth of knowledge, experience, perspective, values... which may be of interest or use to others. And as a writer, that is appealing. 

I read the foreword and introduction to the book (also good), before rushing to the section on "Letters of a New Nation." The letter that grabbed my eye was from Benjamin Rush to John Adams, recounting (among other things) how the signers of the Declaration of Independence believed it to be a suicide mission, basically. (!!) They did not in any way expect to win the war against Britain, and figured that there was a good chance the British would specifically kill all the signers for their treasonous act. Dr. Rush was looking back 25 years later, after a 4th of July celebration, from the vantage point when the happy ending of 1776 was very clear to a time when it most certainly was not. 

Did you hear about that in history class? That the declaration of independence was the thing that started it - the risky act? That it was viewed by some as perhaps a futile measure?

My family, blood and chosen, are people of words. I know that words matter. I don't know exactly how mine might, but maybe I don't need to. I just know writing down what we believe is a good thing to do, and potentially a risky thing. But maybe that's kind of the point. 

*I logged off Facebook and Instagram on Saturday, for the foreseeable future. I moved myself onto Bluesky and Retro (and LinkedIn and Pinterest, lol).

Resurrection

Perhaps like you, I have an ambivalent relationship with astrology. On one hand, I am clearly a Cancer Sun with Gemini Rising (a deep feeling, nurturing lover of information, comfortable with paradox). That's just obvious. I receive the astrological predictions that float through my world with a mix of attention and amusement. Who knows what it all means? Maybe something! I am always open to anything offering a big picture view on the many whims and winds of energy swirling around us. For instance, Pluto in Capricorn, 2008-2024: 

"Pluto’s transit of Capricorn tends to coincide with the rise and fall of empires, and sees big changes in the rules and structures that shape society in politics and religion. Theories and ideals are brought down to earth and put into practice, and anything that doesn’t work is thrown out – no matter how noble."

Well, yeah. Definitely. That holds up.

So, in looking back at the last time I wrote on this blog, just under 10 years ago, I wonder what astrological cycle relates to the change of that time and where we are now. I remember the me then, and the words sound like a version of me, but so. much. has changed. And yet here I am, back to the same place. 2015/2016 was a clear marker for change in my life: after Trump was elected, we moved to the Boston area, I started a new job, and those things were pretty all-consuming. At that point, I turned to write in my "secret" private blog more (until the fall of 2019), and then that fell off too. 

My writing has continued. I journal. I've written some missives to my community in major moments. My poetry activity peaked around the time I stopped publishing it on here. Thanks to grief, change, and global upheaval, I've had lots to process! ;) And a few nice poets and writers in my world offered fertile space to create and share. 

For the last few years, I've been toying with the idea of sharing my poetry more widely. I sent in submissions to the New Yorker (yes, I know, aiming high), a regional poetry magazine, and was rejected from both. I may still try again at a new venue. 

But a few months ago, I got the clear sense that my priority was just to share my poetry, and I actually didn't care if I got paid (and perhaps prefer to avoid the commodification). So, I decided I should stop trying to get published by someone else and put my writing on a blog. To share publicly and freely. And of course, I already had one... I just had to find it.

It took me a few months to get here, but I knew I wanted to come back to this space, which has been a great place for me to find and use my voice. To resurrect this sweet blog. I just had to fight with Google a little bit to get back in here. But I'm in! I'm here. 

So I have some poetry to share. Maybe I can even get back into longer form writing. I do have a book that I want to write... But I don't really know what to expect from my writing and a space like this at this point in my life. What parts of me have evolved? What conditions in the world have evolved? What about me is still the same? 

TBD. Or maybe I can find some astrological explanation. I'll keep you posted. 

Homework

In light of the panic that seems to set in every time I explore my social media feeds, I've been sending silent pleas out to the internet universe for positive, thoughtful, relevant reading material. Apparently my prayers are now being answered. In fact, I feel almost bombarded by the sudden onslaught of meaningful things to read on topics near and dear.

So, with that in mind, here's a roundup of writings that I intend to read during the next month. A mental advent calendar, if you will.

In case you also are in the market for some fun holiday "homework", the list and links are here:

An Economic Justice and Poverty themed issue of the Friends Journal (Dec. 2015)

My brilliant bestie's excellent reading and viewing suggestions on exclusion and forgiveness-related topics

A reflection from Jeremiah on hope

More to come!

For e.

I'm losing my mind, she said, yet again.
Heartbreak - the familiar friend - is setting in,
settling in and setting up shop,
while I try to keep up
sweep up
the residues of negative thoughts
and borrowed trouble,
fears that bubble up and fog my view.
Let the rain fall, sure,
but not the tears,
not the bad news bears and silver-lininged clouds
not the thunder, so loud.
Love's dark lover, loss, is at my door
once more
beating out a quiet rhythm
only I can hear.
I want to swim in your smoothest skin,
laugh at every grin of yours,
rolling on the floor in delight
because you are my friend
have been and shall be
forever more -
That's something worth losing for.